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  • Writer's pictureBryan Jun

I don't like dogs

I'm going to keep this post very brief in an attempt to sound as non-serial killer / psychopath as possible (those are the two typical responses I get from people when I admit this fact about myself, because apparently your affinity for an animal determines your sanity) and try to explain where this very unpopular opinion comes from. I think in the United States and maybe even globally, declaring that you don't like dogs is almost a bigger sin than saying you don't like Abraham Lincoln. It's often met with "how could you" or "something's wrong with you" or "you're lying." I do want to make it clear that unlike my other unpopular opinions where I genuinely can't comprehend the otherside, I completely understand why people like dogs. Outside of having to potty train them and their reduced lifespan, dogs are the ultimate companion to the lonely without all the cons of babies and all the benefits of a child that can't speak. It's no surprise that young married couples who know they're not responsible or fiscally able for a kid yet turn to getting dogs and why there's a boom of older folks turning to dogs at the ends of their lives even though they've never had dogs before. I am in sync with those that love walking their dogs as a part of synergistic physical motivation and I can also "allow" the idea of having your dog be almost a family member.

When I say I don't like dogs, I'm comparing myself to the "who's a good boy" school of folks who talk to their Max's as if they were actually a five year old child and kiss them on the mouth. I think it's fair to reciprocate attention to a pet, everyone (including animals) have wants and needs. But as someone who intrinsically believes that we are different from the rest of the animal kingdom (sorry Carl Sagan), it pains me to see people who exhibits this behavior., I actually have a rather popular Instagram story series where I pet any dog I run into with the caption "I hate dogs." My opinion on this bleeds into people who have dog social media accounts (perhaps more for the influence and following after a certain point rather than their actual love for dogs), use dogs as a means of starting conversation or picking up girls, and girls who make a crying sound whenever they see any dog and cover their mouth in shock as if it's the first time they've ever seen a mammal walking with four legs instead of two.

It's important to touch here that at this point you'll realize that my dislike for dogs doesn't derive from dogs themselves, but rather how people react to dogs and their behavior that come from interacting with dogs. I also don't limit this to just dogs - "connecting" on a personal level with animals in general is human behavior I simply don't understand. As I've noted before, I was never an animal person, did not obsess over dinosaurs as a kid, and to this day don't understand the merit of a zoo. It's no surprise to me that the very people who love to fight for animal rights and post on their Instagram stories horrifying videos of Seaworld mistreatment are also the same people who would probably dye their dog's hair pink. At this point I probably have dug myself a hole and truly sound like a keyboard warrior who sits behind a screen all day contemplating the various aspects of the world that I dislike so in order to save myself, here's a picture of a very good boy (it's actually a girl).

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